Alone With Jesus

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Matt 6:6

When I meet with Jesus, I am assured of at least one patch of sunshine in my day. No matter what clouds of dismay blow in, I can recall our time together and mentally step back into the sunny patch. Now I am addicted. I hide in a closet and get my fix of meeting with the Creator of the universe. How could an inadequate person like me give that up? Should I let deadlines, or travel, or guests invade this time? Call me obsessive, but I cannot help myself. I will wangle a way to get time with Him everyday; in fact, I am militant about it. It is not that I am disciplined or heroic—I am desperate.

Some years ago, the Lord led me to two unrelated books by respected authors who told how their lives changed when they began having devotions at 5:00 AM. My old nature resisted the challenge; nevertheless, while praying myself to sleep I made a half-hearted commitment to try early mornings. I did not set the alarm clock. The next morning, I found myself awake at 5:00 AM. Smirking at what this meant, I rose for my devotion time. The same thing happened the next day—no alarm, the Lord woke me. I finally agreed this was doable and began setting an alarm. The charcoal line sketches the Scriptures usually put in my mind, suddenly filled in with realistic color. Prayer became intense time on my face, emptying me and filling with the Spirit. Abba Father wrapped me in joy as He honored a sacrifice of time set apart while the world slept.

After several years, a new threat crept in. My mornings became disciplined for discipline sake, not for the Lord. Jesus wants Spirit-led obedience in joy, not habit in drudgery. He knows I cannot live without our meetings, but now He wants to set the day’s schedule. I have so much more to learn. What keeps me going forward is the wonder that it is the unseen King of the Universe who is guiding me and who really wants to meet with this feeble small child.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for coming to me each day.